Squash that inner critic!
The week between Mother's Day and my birthday is affectionately known as “Mama-kkuh” in my house.
We do multiple nights of little celebrations in order to celebrate me. And I'm not ashamed to say I love it!
It feels powerful to accept praise, gratitude, and respect for a job well done - personally and professionally.
Does that mean doing everything perfectly all the time? Absolutely not.
But, to create our most fulfilling lives, we need to be comfortable standing in our power for all the roles we perform.
I fully recognize that that may feel like a stretch at first, but allowing one's self to own our value gives us the confidence and inspiration to take positive action in our lives.
Ironically, some of us (**cough, cough) can develop too high of a standard about owning or using our power. This can block us from using it, because our inner critic makes us feel like we will never use our power in a good enough way, so, therefore, we shouldn't use it all.
This can result in us becoming victims of situations instead of leaders of them.
The tricky thing about our inner critic is it can be hard to tell if we are being overly self-critical or simply wanting to maintain our high standards.
The most effective way I have found to approach this inner conflict is to consciously adopt a more playful attitude toward myself and/or the project I'm working on. The inner critic is immediately defused this way.
The house needs to be vacuumed? Oh well…let's give the dust bunnies names!
The script for a project you have coming up isn't quite where you need it to be? Agree with your partner to improv a little!
It's all OK.
You'll be able to enjoy so much more of whatever you're doing by allowing yourself to have fun and diffuse your inner critic.
What's an area in which you can adopt a more playful attitude and step into your power?
Personally, I'm already anticipating “Mama-kkuh 2026”.
3 Ways to Defuse Your Inner Critic
Our inner critics can be erosive, exhausting, and even damaging…but they mean well. Here are three suggestions on how to add a more compassionate and constructive voice to your mix of inner critical voices.
Focus on self-compassion more than self-esteem: Unlike self-esteem, which is contingent on external achievements, self-compassion offers unconditional acceptance and understanding. Cultivating self--compassion allows us to embrace our imperfections, learn from our experiences, and foster genuine connections with others. Example: if you put your foot in your mouth meeting someone new, your inner critic might say “I'm such an idiot!” But with self-compassion you can say “It wasn't intentional. I get nervous around new people."
Harness the voice of your “internal mentor” v. “internal critic”: For solopreneurs, embracing the encouraging voice of an internal mentor will empower you to seize opportunities and navigate uncertainty with greater ease. Example: You have a growth opportunity on the horizon, but your internal critic says, "You'll never pull this off; it's too risky!" In contrast, your internal mentor would offer a support-ive perspective: "Remember how you've successfully tackled chall-enges before? Trust your abilities, learn from past experiences, and take calculated risks to drive your business forward."
Approach high-stakes mistakes with levity: Missteps are inevitable. By acknowledging errors with a sense of humor you can reframe setbacks into learning opportunities. Example: Consider a solopreneur who invests a significant portion of their budget in a promising partnership that ultimately falls through. Rather than dwelling on the financial setback, they could choose to view it as a valuable lesson and share their experience with humor and humility on their blog or social media: "Well, it seems our leap of faith turned out to be more of a belly flop! Our recent partnership didn't work out as planned, but we've gained valuable insights and a great story to share over coffee. Onward and upward!"
Referrals are the lifeblood of every small business, including mine!
Do you have a friend who is looking to go into business for themselves?
Is your mom looking to take her jewelry making side hustle to the next level?
Does your brother need new professional photos or a portfolio website for a job search?
You can:
Give them my website: www.StefanieSmall.com
Introduce us over email: sjsmall560@gmail.com
Reach out through LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/stefanie-small
THANK YOU!
